one life in billions: 2003

Monday, June 30, 2003

2003

so Bush declared victory while we were in Spain

S kept changing the plan while I felt we were barely keeping above the water line. I became overwhelmed and anxious - as well often scared by and always wary off S's temper.

We'd planned a trip to Spain in early 2003 - was talking about buying property and I really was up for this though wasn't sure how it would pan out, or become sustainable with K still in school, and neither of us having portable skills that we could use in Spain. It was always a pipe dream. Maybe without a teenage child of school age we could have made it work; and in hindsight I'm glad we didn't. My autism was never going to go away, S's intolerance to my issues (I was diagnosed in 2003 as autistic and S seemed to think that it could be diagnosed then cured) was never going to go away. Then Brexit and all the issues from that - the collapse in the Spanish economy just a few years after this holiday - and we''d have been fucked. Or S would have been OK with family support but I'd have been fucked. anyway though, I was up for this. I could see it happening, but for S's treatment of me which meant I was always in the defensive position.

About a week before flying out - flights were bought and paid for; as was accommodation - she told me I couldn't come. We'd had a disagreement and she told me I could no longer come on our holiday. So I cancelled my annual leave and didn't pack or plan any furhter. On the day she flew out she asked me if I was ready to go. I was aghast. I hadn't booked any time off work, I hadn't pcked, I just wasn't in a position to join her. So she flew out with K and I stayed home. Then she was all, oh, wish you were here, the beach is lovely, the accomodation is cool, are you coming out soon?

So as it was a two week holiday I booked a week off the following week and booked a flight. And at the weekend I flew out. We actually had a nice time I seem to remember. There were problems but we dealt with them A lot of this week was S showing me round places she's already been to. I fell in love with Andalusia in this week,

My Telstar House era ended July 30th 2003
I was off work this day...might have been sick. It started after office hours though, so unlikely I'd have been still at my desk when this started. I received a text on my phone the next day telling me not to go to the office but to get myself up to Leyton signals depot instead. I'd been there once or twice so getting there wasn't going to be a problem. initially I had my own office and everything! But as it was clear the new location was to be permanent I was forced to relocate into the main office so the office could be used for something more important. I ended working at Leyton for about 2 or 3 years...