2002

We went to Amsterdam in December to January in 2002.

I don;t know what S was pulling but she made me believe so many different and impossible things about this trip that I don't really feel too confident I can write an account of what the fuck it was all about.

I had to take a lot of leave to do this - not sure till today how I managed it. We were over there for a month and some more (?).

My abiding memory of it is summed up in a few words: David Bowie's Heathen, canals, mushrooms, marijuana, Bread and cheese, snow, fireworks.

S was ultimately being irresponsible and trying to escape reality and dragging us all along on her fantasy, while at the same time knowing it was going to fail but being able to blame me for it when it did. It was truly another nail in the heart of our life together.

I was in the Easy cyber cafe when i found out that Joe Strummer had died. 22nd December - also S's birthday and the winter solstice.

I wasn't to go back to Amsterdam for about 7/8 years.